As much as I don't believe that personal testimony is the cabal demonstration of the veracity of ones faith, I do believe that faith, in order to be true, must have observable relevant consequences. You could put it this way: "if God exists and is relevant (=>) there must be an observable consequence"; it is not true however that "if there is any observable evidence of God (a personal experience for example) there must exist (=>) a relevant God". Evidence is always only evidence.
These things being said, I describe the experience:
_______________________________________________________________________
Event that occurred during the first trimester of 2008, Resende, Rio de Janeiro - Brazil.
By that time I was in the Brazilian Military Academy. I was preparing myself for higher level of training to become an officer in the AMAN, short for "Academia Militar das Agulhas Negras" (equivalent to the American West Point); during the previous year I studied in a military preparatory school where I got my basic training before I proceeded to officer training. Although I enjoyed allot the military training I also missed studying math like I studied in high-school. The military life schedule also wasn't so attractive as I wished.. I was in a decision-making period of my life; I needed to decide if I wanted to proceed in the (guaranteed) military career or to backup one year and restart my (uncertain) studies in a normal university.
I was really divided.. I didn't quite know what I would prefer and the more I thought about it the more divided I became, for I didn't want to quit on the exciting military camps, mountain climbing, challenges every day! But on the same time the lack of control over my own schedule and my will to go back to math was really a drawback. What to do?
I didn't know the answer so I gave the decision in prayer. Basically what I did was a test, I told G-d that I wanted Him to choose for me. I told the Lord that I would take the admittance exams to the state university, and if I was called for the first semester I would leave the army, if I was called for the second semester then I would stay and do my career as an officer. It was a life long commitment that would be made on basis of this decision, on this prayer, but I kept faithful towards it. I must say that I had more to the prayer that I'll explain later.
I took the exams and kept on with my normal military life until the time of the results came. The results would come up any time during the "adaptation period" of the academy. The adaptation period is a one to two month period of reception of the new military students in the AMAN, it is probably one of the toughest times of the entire military training. It is tough because the instructors and the older students put all newcomers to their limit to test their endurance and discipline. I was there and I survived the entire period sleeping less than 4 hours a day with nonstop activities.
One of those days I received a sms from my father saying "You where approved in the university exams, 3rd position of the 2nd semester, Joshua your friend is in 4th of the 2nd semester.".
The message didn't quite answer my prayer yet.. I had prayed for first semester or no deal. So to be faithful to what I had prayed the answer would be "go to university" only if at least 3 students from the first semester quit, and this way I would be called. I decided to stay for the entire adaptation period in the academy despite the hardship to understand what exactly did "3rd position of the 2nd semester" mean in this context of prayer and answer. Day by day my heart was coming to peace with the matter and I understood that people would give up in order that I would be called, and at the last day of adaptation period I was certain of it!
I was still praying.
On the last night before I asked to leave the academy I had a dream. In the dream I saw my instructor, the lieutenant of my platoon, entering my apartment with another lieutenant to do a routine inspection the apartment. When he entered I immediately presented myself to him " Leutenent, this is cadet Ivo David, I wish to leave the army". Still in my dream he looked me in the eye and responded with "Ivo David, you aren't the first one to ask to leave; cadet Daniel from the 5th platoon asked this morning before you." and the dream vanished.
The next morning what wasn't to my surprise was that the lieutenant came with another lieutenant to do the routine inspection of the apartment and that I presented myself with the same words. Now what was a strong surprise was that the lieutenant answered me with the exact same words from my dream "Ivo David, you aren't the first one to ask to leave; cadet Daniel from the 5th platoon asked this morning before you.". The lieutenant left without further notice, while I sat on my bed to understand that my dream had just happened exactly how I had seen it. I have to mention that I had never even heard before of cadet Daniel from the 5th platoon.. when I met him, although I might have shared the dream and experience to the other cadets in my apartment, he was the only person in the academy that I actually remember sharing the dream to.
With this dream I knew that my prayers where being answered from above and that I could trust that the things to come where being carefully planned from G-d.
The following days, I prepared my moving out of the military facility and my moving into my new university; I did this because I was sure that I would be called to the first semester that would begin in less than a month. Believe it or not, but there where exactly 3 students from the 1st semester to quit, and I was called for the first semester and my friend Joshua stayed at home waiting; he ended up only going to university on the second semester. This once again confirmed my sense of peace that G-d was giving me about the decision.
One thing that I didn't mention about my prayers was that I prayed also that, in case I left the army, I wouldn't have the feeling that I lost 1 year of my live in the army. I prayed like this, kind of expecting G-d to help me not look back on that one year as a wrong turn in my history, I didn't really expect G-d to make any thing different in practice only in my own understanding. To my surprise though, He also answered this prayer, but in a very practical way. Not only do I look back to my military experience as a great time of my life but I actually was only able to do my masters degree simultaneously with undergraduate studies because of my 1 year in the army. I'll explain.
During my first year of university the Brazilian government made a program to increase the level of mathematical education in Brazilian public institutions. For that they opened, among other things, a program that allowed undergraduate students with a high performance in Mathematics Olympics to course a masters program during their undergraduate studies. I was one of these students, and in fact the first non-mathematician to complete the course in my university. Guess where I achieved my math Olympics high performance? Yes, in my one year in the army. So instead of looking back to that one year as a lost time, I actually gained 2 years because of the math Olympics that I only took part of because I was in the army.
Nenhum comentário:
Postar um comentário